Unpopular Opinion Time

Trust me, I didn’t wait almost 9 years for another baby just to have this season stolen from me

So this topic has been driving me nuts for a while and thanks to pregnancy insomnia, here I am at midnight writing about it instead of sleeping.

I’ll probably get some push back or someone will be thoroughly offended by my position on this. But hey, when you spend almost 10 years as the “crunchy holistic anti-vaxx mom” you get used to having the unpopular opinion and pissing someone off.

I have seen a lot, I mean A LOT, of posts about how devastated moms are by Covid wrecking their pregnancy experience. And I’ll be honest here, I feel like the situation is entirely what you make of it.

Maybe my views on this are rooted in the experience I had in my first pregnancy, which I have been talking about so much recently, it makes me feel totally uncomfortable. But for reference, I was locked away in a maternity house for unwed mothers throughout my first pregnancy experience. THAT is having a ruined and impersonal pregnancy journey, lemme tell ya. Literally I still have anxiety and nightmares about the whole ordeal.
But just to briefly touch on it; isolated from family and friends, absolutely no control, no joyous announcements etc., no spouse or loved one attending appointments/ultrasounds with me, no preparing a nursery, no freedom to just pick up the phone and call home, the list goes on and on.

Covid personally feels like a walk in the park compared to that isolating season..

So while there is definitely space to be upset by the current pandemic, and I do hold space for that because it is difficult to shift focus off of our ideals, I am simply here to shed light on the alternative narrative because no one seems to be talking about taking back the control over their experience.

Something I want to stress is you can still demand the type of care and experience you want during all of this hype.
When all of the Covid drama kicked off, my husband was immediately kicked out of appointments and ultrasounds. Which I still find totally ridiculous because we freaking live together.. so anything either of us is exposed to, so will the other person, and any people we come in contact with vise versa [major eyeroll here]..
But guess what? The policy changes didn’t really work for me, so I found other options that did. I called around and found imaging centers that let my husband be there. I now also see a midwife that has not only come to my home for appointments, but if we go to her office my husband AND daughter can attend.

Even better, when I go into labor I don’t have to stress or worry about being in a germy hospital, fighting against unnecessary interventions (pitocin, cervical checks, constant monitoring, no food/water, etc.), and I get to stay in my home where I am comfortable. My midwife will not force test any of us for Covid, potentially subjecting us to the inaccurate rapid tests, which in a hospital setting definitely gets mom separated from her support person and/or baby. If I had family in the area they would still be welcome to attend the birth, my daughter can absolutely be there, and so can my doula. Absolutely no restrictions because I have picked a care provider that supports ME. 

Another hot topic, I still had a baby shower and it was everything I wanted and more. If people felt uncomfortable or unwell, they didn’t have to attend.

My heart aches for the moms going through labor and delivery alone and/or being forced to wear a mask while navigating the waves of contractions. Even worse, the moms, dads, and babies separated because of testing (this makes me so mad).. and I am saddened by the siblings and partners unable to hear baby’s heartbeat or see them through ultrasounds throughout the pregnancy.

Here is the blunt and honest truth, that’s not the care you have to accept. (I understand high risk pregnancies are a different circumstance) . But I am baffled by the people, not just during Covid but all healthcare in general, that do not question their care or demand providers that meet all of their needs. Ultimately your doctor(s) work for YOU, not the other way around. But that’s a totally different soap box that I won’t dive into today. LOL

I am just here venting that you do still have options right now. Here’s my big push to consider midwife care if you are genuinely discouraged in your pregnancy experience. Pregnancy during a pandemic isn’t going to be perfect, but it doesn’t have to be a miserable and devastating event.

---

Second vent sesh of the night

For the love of God, stop living in totally blind fear, wash your hands, and take care of your immune system.

Second unpopular opinion for the night, no one else is responsible for your health EXCEPT FOR YOU.

For reference, during this pregnancy I have flown several times, traveled through multiple airports, traveled through 7 different states and stayed in half of them along the way, I tend to avoid wearing a mask unless absolutely necessary (and even then I wear a mesh cheesecloth mask because I do not believe in restricting my airflow while pregnant), I take additional supplements and nutrients to keep my immune system established, I continue to go to restaurants etc., and ultimately I do not live in a bubble.

Probably a huge source of why I am not emotionally/mentally miserable about Covid “ruining” my pregnancy is because I have continued to live, and enjoy, my life.

Whether you agree with my decision to do so or not, the logic of the situation is that never EVER in the history of EVER has an illness been eradicated by quarantine. In theory, disease becomes obsolete because of heard immunity, as in enough healthy people have the disease and survive it, that it cannot continue to devastate through infection and ultimately fatality (so your options are basically going to be to eventually get it or get the crap vaccine, I would rather risk getting it than this BS rushed big pharma produced vaccine)
I’m not necessarily trying to get it while pregnant, however, I do a lot of precautionary measures to build up my immune system that allow me to feel comfortable living life.

Additionally, my daughter is sick right now. I’m not panicking and I am not rushing to the hospital. We did go get a rapid strep test done, which came back negative. But I refused the Covid testing for her and myself because honestly what can they do? There is no treatment and no medication, so why add to the numbers, it’s not like anyone will be following up on our contribution to the survival statistics?
Instead we are hanging out at home and we have added tonic water, zinc, calcium, magnesium, and vitamin C to the daily routine. Avoiding all Tylenol/Ibuprofen (if you didn’t know it’s awful on the gut and the gut is where your immune system is built) Instead, apple cider vinegar is a great substitute for fever reduction, even though she doesn’t have a fever.
But honestly with all of that, Ry doesn’t feel awful (today she was begging to go outside and play). So we just stay on top of her fluids and she takes a tablespoon of honey if her throat bothers her.
I am not assuming she actually has Covid, but simultaneously not assuming she doesn’t. My whole point here is panic and fear annihilate not only our peace of mind, but I believe the body and mind work in synch with each other. That’s why we see placebo pills working, if the mind believes they are getting better, the body will respond. Well if you are anxiously walking around fearful of getting sick, you are giving your body permission to get sick.

I do believe the virus is real and I do actually know people who have gotten it. The few people I know have had mixed experiences, some got over it quickly while others are struggling and miserable.
I just personally choose not to live fearful and full of anxiety about it. I think honestly its inevitable and I don’t want to risk my peace of mind, which risks my body as well, during pregnancy.

So all of this sums up why I am not depressed and upset about the trend of Covid ruining my pregnancy.

Okay end rant. I’m going to try to get some sleep now LOL