Okay, so I know we haven’t formally experienced our home birth yet. However, I have been pretty transparent about prepping for the event which has lead to a lot of DMs and questions about the process.
I addressed quite a few topics in my Instagram Stories, however I am long winded when I get to talking, plus those will disappear within 24 hours. So here we are, I want to formally respond to some of the questions I’ve received.
Also, little reminder that I tend to have an “alternative” approach to healthcare in general. I have been an advocate for home birth for many years now and I really do enjoy discussing all things natural birth and breastfeeding.
I want to be clear that I am not anti-hospital or anti-doctor/nurse. I believe that medicine and medical care are amazing and I am thankful we have them. But I do feel like medical presence during labor and delivery are over used and a non-medical event, such as birth, has been over medicalized.
Also, I am not a professional. These are just my opinions and what has worked for me. I encourage each mama to research many of these topics on your own (honestly use a search engine that isn’t so censored; like Bing or Yahoo. Google tends to be very one-sided). There are also Facebook groups for nursing moms and natural/home birthing, which are FULL of information and personal experiences.
Each topic I address has SO MUCH MORE information than I could ever thoroughly explain, so I will give you the “tip of the iceberg” so to speak. But at the end of the day its about you becoming informed on your options and experience. I just hope to initially facilitate the beginning conversations that allow you to begin considering a more natural approach to labor, delivery, and breastfeeding, if that is what you are looking for.
So let’s dive in, shall we?
“Are you having a water birth”
Perfect question to start with and the answer is I DONT KNOW lol.
So the beauty behind a home birth is the ability to freely move about your space and be in the most comfortable position, location, etc. We fortunately have a large soaking tub in our bathroom that can easily be filled up if I choose to get in the water.
However, if we didn’t have our bathtub I would probably need to be a little more specific in my plan because inflatable pools for water births take quite a bit of time to blow up and get filled up.
Most importantly though, for me it is very important to feel the freedom to move and adjust as needed. My plan is also that my midwife team is as hands-off as possible. There is obvious monitoring that she/they will do. But the goal is to remain more hands-off and “in the background” just holding space for baby and I to work together. While they are present and observing, if they see I am struggling they will be there to make recommendations and offer support when needed.
I will probably butcher this example, but years ago I heard this analogy that really resonated with me regarding birth.
When you look at how mammals birth (dogs, cats, etc.) they create a space in which they feel safe and secure and only then will their bodies allow birth to begin. Not only that, but if you continually check in on and bother the animal while they are birthing, statistically their labors stall out because you are stressing the animal (think of it as breaking their concentration). Additionally there is a bonding period immediately following delivery that if interrupted, mammals have abandoned their babies.
While we are not dogs and cats, we are mammals and our brains during labor become extremely primal as long as we are not fighting the process. I believe allowing yourself to respond instinctually instead of medically is what creates birth experiences that are not traumatic and postpartum periods that are fulfilling.
I believe nurses and doctors in a hospital setting mean well, so please do not get me wrong here. But when you take the primal example above and apply that to a hospital setting; foreign environment, strangers, shift and nurse changes, interruptions, distractions, etc. I think the instinctual birth experience can become interrupted and potentially prolonged.
“What if something goes wrong?
If I had a dollar for every time I have been asked this question.
Statistically, a home birth is just as safe (if not safer in some studies) than a hospital birth. The key to that safety though is having a low risk healthy pregnancy and having an educated thorough team supporting you. I don’t believe home birth is for everyone and if you are receiving midwife care for a home birth, throughout your pregnancy your midwife will continually be monitoring you for risk factors that may “risk out” your ability to have a SAFE home birth. Safety is always the goal.
I have seen midwives have a “three strike rule”. For example, if you have a mama start showing signs of consistently high blood pressure, that’s strike 1. If labor begins and mama or baby’s heartbeat becomes concerning, that’s strike 2. Once you get to strike 3, it’s time to go to the hospital. More concerning risks will obviously get you transferred faster (excessive bleeding, etc.)
Throughout the labor process my midwife does do all of the same monitoring that is done in the hospital. She will be checking my heart rate, baby’s heart rate, as well as blood pressure and watching for various other stressors. IF labor and/or delivery are not being handled well by me or baby, we do have a transfer plan in place where we will go to the hospital to deliver.
One thing that is important to remember about emergencies during birth is they rarely “just suddenly happen”. Typically there are serval red flags prior to being in an actual emergency situation. I feel a common misconception about birth is the frequency of emergencies and/or how many “emergencies” were a direct result of common interventions done in hospital settings (another fun subject to research is the cascade of common interventions that lead to a cesarian section).
Your midwife is also able to administer various injections for bleeding/hemorrhaging, they can do sutures if you tear, and they can do CPR, etc.
Ultimately, a home birth with a midwife is extremely safe and if you choose to consider a home birth, you will spend a lot of time discussing safety, plans A, B, and C, etc. If you have a midwife that doesn’t openly discuss these things or treat them seriously, FIND A NEW MIDWIFE. There is absolutely no room for a midwife with a God complex during labor and delivery.
“What about the mess?”
By 35 weeks your midwife should suggest a birth kit, provide one, or give you a birth supply list that will contain the supplies needed for keeping various fluids semi contained.
I have talked about our supply box on Instagram a few times. But if you have missed one of my many talks on that, we ordered a supply box from Radiant Belly. These supplies are the more specific hospital supplies you think of (sterile gloves, alcohol, gauze, pads, the infant heel warmer and prick, live birth certificate, ink pad for hand and foot prints, etc.) then we have a supply box of generic items we were able to get from the store on our own (towels, washcloths, blankets, peroxide, witch hazel, a metal bowl, etc.)
Midwives are extremely adaptable, so let’s say you are walking up and down your hallway and get the urge to push. Your midwife will QUICKLY adapt to the location and grab the supplies needed in order to “catch” the various fluids.
Also, most midwives do help clean up after baby is born. They do not just leave once baby is out and leave you with blood all over the place. What each midwife offers after birth is different, I’ve seen some midwives start the laundry with the sheets and towels used, some take the trash with them and dispose of it for you, some just condense the mess so it’s not all over.. so how and what they clean up afterwards will be specific to each practicing midwife.
“I had two hospital births with epidurals but I’ve been very intrigued by the midwife home birth route and the more you post the more I’m considering it for when it comes time for baby number 3. Was your first birth “all natural” as well, or what made you decide to go this route?”
My first birth was “all natural” in a hospital.
I was very fortunate to have a good birth experience with the outcome that I wanted, so after I had Ryleigh I started looking more into how I could support other women during labor and delivery. That lead me to the home birth world and some of the unfortunate stories that pushed women into wanting out of the hospitals. Then as the years went by, I became more and more holistic and I started trusting my body and intuition more than the medicalized event of hospital births.
A common misconception is that birth is a medical event that only occasionally happens naturally with minimal intervention. When the reality is birth and labor are a completely natural event that should only occasionally and rarely need medical intervention.
I think I got lucky with my first birth because I didn’t spend much time in the hospital laboring. The morning before I delivered, at my doctor appointment when they checked me, I was dilated almost to a complete 4 and she asked me if I wanted to go ahead and head over to the hospital. But I knew just enough at the time to know that once you check into the hospital, you only have so long to deliver your baby before interventions start being pushed in order to get that baby out. So I went home and let labor naturally come and do its thing. So by the time I actually went to the hospital, my water was already broken and I was progressing easily on my own. I don’t really think there was much time for things like Pitocin etc because I was moving along naturally on my own.
But like I stated above, I trust my body and my instincts more than I trust a medical textbook on how to birth my babies. Also, because I tend to be more holistic/crunchy/alternative/a hippie freak, whatever you want to call it.. I naturally have to fight against routine medical interventions and I am just not interested in doing so during labor. I want to be focused on my labor and delivery and not on staff interactions.
Even before I was convinced to do a home birth, I knew I didn’t want an IV at my next birth and I didn’t want to have monitors strapped to me. So I spent a lot of time reading about how to decline these at the hospital and stories from other women who struggled with staff against them. I also became more familiar with informed consent and how minimal it can be in some hospital settings.
It is very common for a doctor/nurse to come in and say something along the lines of, “hey Sydney, we’re just going to check you real quick” as they are already slipping gloves on and lubing up their fingers. That is NOT informed consent and I want to be asked permission before EVERY interaction, monitoring, etc.
I also feel there is a lot of subtle coercion, especially when administering things like Pitocin. Moms are told it’s a good thing to get labor progressing again/quicker. But frequently the negative side effects of Pitocin are withheld or glossed over.
These are just simply situations I do not agree with nor do I want the anxiety about having to deny/fight for during my hands-off birth experience. I am NOT saying all hospitals and staff are this way. However, you don’t get to know every single person attending your labor prior to, so honestly how do you know how each nurse or doctor will react to your various wishes? Sure, you can supply a birth plan to your doctor prior and get their “okay”, but how many nurses will you interact with once in labor? I like to think they all read birth plans.. but if they don’t?
I just didn’t want to deliver my next baby and have a nurse subtly put Pitocin into my IV so the placenta is delivered faster, I didn’t want to have a doctor clamp off the baby’s cord before I delivered my placenta even after I asked for that not to be done, I didn’t want nurses standing around me rubbing my baby with towels or trying to hurry and get baby weighed and assessed, I didn’t want to be mid-contraction and have nurses strapping monitors back on me because I kept taking them off during contractions.. all of this happened during my birth with Ryleigh. So even though I “got my natural birth” with her, there was still, in my opinion, an overreach of medical presence that was simply not needed for how straight forward and “normal” my birth was.
I’m going to move on from this topic because I could spend all day here lol.
If you want more info on medical standards during labor and delivery that you can decline, there are TONS of resources. It might surprise you how many “standards” are done but absolutely not necessary.
“Does your insurance cover home birth? What are the out of pocket costs?”
This is a tricky question to answer. I have Tricare, so they SOMETIMES cover home births but its totally dependent on the state laws as to whether or not it is covered.
Tricare only covers CNMs (Certified Nurse Midwives) but depending on various state law, not all CNMs can attend home births. So we pay out of pocket for a CPM (Certified Professional Midwife) and in the state of Louisiana, a CPM can legally attend a home birth.
Our CPM is roughly $5,000 out-of-pocket.
So if you are considering a home birth, you will just need to look into your insurance coverage and if there are any loopholes to the coverage.
And while $5,000 out-of-pocket may seem impossible, depending on your insurance, it may actually be cheaper than your after insurance costs. Additionally, almost all midwives offer payment plans or have suggestions on ways to get your home birth funded.
“Any breastfeeding tips for FTMs planning to breastfeed?”
Oh yes! This topic though has tons of information so its hard to not overwhelm a new mama with too much info.
But first I would suggest just getting familiar with the anatomy and logistics of breastfeeding. You can find tons of diagrams and info on Pinterest, Google, or join a Facebook page for nursing mamas.
Second, let’s talk CLUSTER FEEDING. I feel like cluster feeding is the most stressful part of establishing nursing for new mamas. So definitely look into it and get familiar with how beneficial it is. A quick summary on what cluster feeding is though, its where baby is basically nursing 24/7. I feel like I see a lot of new mamas panic that “baby isn’t getting enough” because they want to be on the breast every 5, 10, 30 mins. etc. But it actually has nothing to do with baby being too hungry or you not producing enough milk. Typically its a biological mechanism produced by your baby to increase your milk supply PRIOR TO a growth spurt. In short, more nipple stimulation = more milk. So let baby nurse on demand and never try to only nurse on a schedule. Also, avoid “topping baby off” with formula. This is counterproductive to the frequent nursing. By not allowing that baby to nipple contact you are eliminating the message that your breasts need to increase their supply. And if you eliminate this message, then once baby does actually need more milk because they gave grown, the milk won’t be there and you are either going to be playing “catch up” on your supply or you will need to consider formula.
My next piece of advice is to get a nipple shield. You can find these at any local store; Walmart, Target, Amazon, Walgreens, etc.
Nipple shields are legit a GOD SEND when your nipples are hurting. They are also a great tool if you baby is tongue or lip tied (another fun thing for you to research).
Please watch a YouTube video on how to get your nipple shield on and placed correctly for your first use OR MESSAGE ME AND I WILL WALK YOU THROUGH IT! I see lots of mamas give up on the shield because they don’t understand how to get the shield placed correctly and it ends up not working for them.
Here’s the truth, breastfeeding is going to initially hurt. If you have cracked and bleeding nipples there is a very good chance that baby is not latched deep enough. But again, please reach out to me if you need advice on this or see a local lactation consultant (consultants are almost universally covered by insurance through your local hospital).
And remember, establishing nursing is a new learning process for everyone. Even your baby is learning to suck, swallow and breath while you are simultaneously trying to figure out if he/she is latching correctly and you are worried about them getting enough.
“What are your thoughts on keeping your placenta? Or placenta encapsulation”
I am that crazy woman who will 100% be using my placenta for medicinal purposes. LOL
I know this is controversial, so do your own research on if the benefits are worth it to you and just to point out, we are 1 of 3 mammals that do not consume our placenta.
Also, I think encapsulation is a good alternative, especially if you do not feel like you can do the raw consumption. Just know there will be some loss of nutritional/hormonal benefits if you go this route. Also, if you end up getting Pitocin, an epidural, etc. I would suggest looking into the research about not consuming your placenta as those meds can still be present in the placenta.
Okay, so to address the raw consumption. There are two primary reasons in which it can be helpful;
- Bleeding – if you tend to bleed heavily or hemorrhage, consuming part of the placenta right away can quickly (and naturally) replenish your iron levels. There is even benefits to placing a piece of raw placenta between your cheek and gums and letting your body naturally absorb nutrients.
- Hormonal balance – if you’ve had a baby before you know there is a natural hormonal crash a few days after birth. Well, your placenta is not only packed full of iron/minerals, but also all those hormones that were produced during pregnancy. So consuming some (you literally do not have to eat your whole damn placenta lol) of the placenta can help the “crash” be more of a controlled landing.
I personally plan on consuming a part of my placenta around day 3 or 4 just for the hormonal help.
Placenta Smoothie
1 -2 chunks of Thawed Placenta
1/2 C. Coconut Milk
1/4 C. Water
1/2 a Banana
1/2 C. Frozen Raspberries
1/4 C. Frozen Strawberries
1/4 C. Frozen Pineapple
“Eye goop? Vit K?”
Another “do your own research” topic.
Eye goop is routinely given due to STDs. If you don’t have an STD, I see no value in blurring my baby’s vision during the crucial golden bonding hours post birth.
Vitamin K – this is controversial as well. We personally are doing the Vit K oral drops.
“I am wanting to do a natural birth in a hospital setting. My husband and I have researched counter pressure techniques for pain, bought essential oils to diffuse, and plan on having music playing as a distraction. But I was wondering if you had any more recommendations you could share!”
Outside of natural birth classes for you and your spouse, I really recommend a doula!
Men are great, but honestly I feel like they rarely handle the pain and their own panic surrounding birth very well. Us as women tend to over read and over familiarize ourselves with what to expect during labor and what to expect of our bodies.. But RARELY are men as interested in this topic to the same degree that we are and honestly it’s super overwhelming for them. So while I think husband’s can be a great source of comfort and love during labor, I just really think an actual labor/birth support person can be more beneficial.
Also, having a doula present allows you and your spouse to just “ride the waves” together and bond through the experience instead of your spouse (or even yourself) shouldering the stress of trying to remember all of the coping and relaxation techniques. Having a doula present to help guide you through the techniques allows you to be present in the moment and not worried about being prepared for the future contractions.
Also, remember to not panic under the pain of contractions. I tell myself it is mind over matter. As a society I feel we have been conditioned to avoid or end anything uncomfortable/painful as quickly as possible. So when contractions start getting painful, many women begin to panic. So stay calm! Ride the contraction wave so to speak.
Anyone can do anything for 1 minute or even 2 minutes. That’s what I tell myself when mentally preparing and coping through each surge. Stop being scared of birth.
In Conclusion
To wrap this up I will say that even if I wasn’t a home birth advocate prior to Covid-19, the stress around Covid policies would have pushed me there now.
I have several nurse friends who have told me that the hospitals they work for aren’t separating mom and baby or are beginning to allow an additional support person. But honestly it’s just not an event I want to risk. I have no desire to willingly give up my abilities to have support people, family, or potentially my husband at the labor and delivery. I also don’t agree with mandatory Covid testing upon arrival. But to each their own on this topic.
Again, I am not a professional and I encourage every soon-to-be mama to research on her own and be informed of her options. The reality is you have TONS of options for labor and delivery, so many that I wouldn’t even be able to list them all here.
And most importantly, in the end it really doesn’t matter how or where you give birth. What matters is that you felt respected, safe, and advocated for. While home birth works for me and I feel safe in that space, I don’t expect every parent to feel that way. Fortunately there are resources for you to feel advocated for and safe if you do feel more comfortable being in a hospital, birth center, or even a birth house.
As always, if you want to continue the discussion about one of these topics, or one that I didn’t cover, I am always available 🙂
XO,
Sydney
sydneyspacedotblog.wordpress.com 